Here Comes the Dress!

Vera Wang

I always think I'm way too young to be talking about weddings but with the sound of new engagements buzzing every few weeks and an unhealthy daily dose of TLC's Say Yes to the Dress, age is obviously no longer an issue. Just the other day one of eurotrash's #1 fans said yes to the man who asked for her hand and eurotrash said yes to dedicating this post to her.

Amasale

Ever watch one of those episodes of Rich Bride, Poor Bride where the bride-to-be throws a temper tantrum and takes a sledge hammer to her bathroom vanity because her fiance' refuses to put up 30Gs for the centrepieces? Well, when it comes to weddings, eurotrash has one piece of advice: spend on the dress, and cheap out on the rest! Flowers will wilt, guests will be too drunk by the first course to notice the difference between sea bass and salmon, and let's face it, the more people at the reception, the bigger the chances of someone looking better than the bride! (For those who don't know, that is the cardinal sin of all weddings).

Vera Wang

Whenever talk of tying the knot comes up, eurotrash can be heard saying: "a limo? Screw that! Listen, I'd drive my mother's car to the church just to have a drop dead gown". Unless you're some duchess or Lady Gaga, chances are, a ball gown is not one of the items you keep neatly tucked away in your closet. However, no matter how ordinary your life may be the day after, on your wedding day nobody is going to take away your divine right to wear couture. The eurotrash wedding is void of helicopters, a busting guest list, and bridal party. Instead, the maximum capacity is set to 50, food will be quality not quantity, decor will be simple - candles and a flower or two, the bride will arrive in her mother's car as planned and there will be no porchetta table at midnight. There will be a dress however; the most beautifully lavish assemblage of fabric with all the niceties of a runway piece and all the glory of a first kiss.

Christian Dior

So say yes to the dress because another even bigger and better wedding reception will just replace yours the next year and sometimes, sadly, even love fades. But your wedding dress, that will always be yours; to have and to hold, til debt do you part.

Congrats, Alexis!

Waste Not, Want Not!

ICEBERG S/S 2010; courtesy of style.com

Everyone knows that eurotrash is obsessed with Mickey Mouse and as one of the original muses for the eurotrash look she really can say: it was all started by a mouse. So amidst all the fall fashion hullabaloo, eurotrash wants to pull in the reins just a bit and talk about the fast approaching SPRING! This is the time when stores flaunt all their pretty spring collections as soon as you walk in and the thought of trying on a frilly pink dress over pale skin and unshaven legs always deters any happiness this marketing move could bring us. Not to mention the inevitable waste factor that no matter how seasoned a shopper you are, always manages to rear its ugly head. The waste factor is the group of clothing purchased, precariously, from the section at the front of the store in between february and april, in anticipation of spring, and which you never end up wearing when the weather is spring, your skin is brighter and your gillette venus has revealed the goddess in you.

It happens to eurotrash too, but this year she has sworn to have patience and if that fails, she'll wear blinders when entering all clothing stores. In the meantime, the editing begins. She's making a list, checking it twice, and in a few months she'll know exactly what she needs in order to have a fabulous wardrobe this summer and finally, dodge the waste factor. Back to Mickey, she knows he's always on her side and he has never even set a yellow foot in that pile of waste (green h&m shorts, rainbow french connection skirt, flavio castellani navy shirt dress...) left over from previous february shopping sprees. This year, the most astute eurotrash girl turns to the leaders in Mickey Mouse fashion, ICEBERG. Those black mouse ears always seem to pop up in their collection, time and time again, and this year is no exception. The black, mouse-studded duffle bag is on eurotrash's spring list, in permanent ink. Yes, she's that sure.

Dial E for Eurotrash.

Grace Kelly in To Catch a Thief

Badgley Mischka, fall 2010

I remember sitting on the terrace of our student residence in Florence that muggy pomeriggio in July, chain-smoking and passionately discussing our latest creation: eurotrash. OK, we obviously didn't invent the word, but we slaved night and day on that terrace to wrest it from the derogatory connotations of kitschy Brünos who listen to euro beats and whatever comes up when you enter the search term "eurotrash" on Google Images. Yeehaw!

Although the prospect of ever fully disclosing the secret to being OUR definition of eurotrash is an unlikely one, considering it's taken us over six years to hone, once in a while we like to let our readers in on some of the things that were said on that terrace.

For this eurotrash girl, being eurotrash meant envisioning her life like a huge book of pictures in which various scenarios called for a certain type of sunlight, a certain street, and a certain outfit. It didn't matter what was happening in the pictures; what mattered was how it looked when it happened. How her black scarf contrasted the hints of blonde in her hair picked up by the sun reflecting off the shop windows along Bloor St or how at 6pm her crisp white juicy hoodie transformed a long day out at sea into a tan as she stepped onto the dock.

Tippi Hedren in The Birds

This fall, it seems that some designers have taken their inspiration from the 'how it looked when it happened' handbook: Alfred Hitchcock movies. Sure, it definitely mattered what happened in these famous murder mysteries, but every time I try to remember the plot of The Birds I first picture Tippi Hedren's pea green suit and bleach blonde hair, and only then does it all come back to me. Here are some Hitchcockian leading ladies and the fall ready-to-wear designers who know a thing or two about the eurotrash subconscious:

Eva Marie Saint in NXNW

Grace Kelly in To Catch a Thief

ibid

Grace Kelly in Rear Window

Tippi Hedren in Marnie

Zac Posen, fall 2010

Chris Benz, Fall 2010

Zac Posen, fall 2010

Carolina Herrera, fall 2010

ibid.

ibid.

Dennis Basso, fall 2010.

Short and Sweet from Quebec.

Stealing internet from the French Canadians turned out to be harder than I thought. I have no doubt that the ever-elusive Bonhomme had something to do with it. And so, I live for the few moments when the WiFi happens to be working at our B&B, which only happens when I sit in a certain chair on the 2nd floor and only when the sun is at its brightest and I'm wearing my pink leg warmers (at least, those were the conditions the one and only time I got internet).

So whatever, I'm not letting another Guglielmo situation creep up on me like this summer in Maiori where for 7 weeks straight the entire town's supposed wireless internet (named Guglielmo for reasons we still don't know) was down because the marina was under construction; the correlation continues to mystify us. Hence, I'm across the street at Second Cup; free WiFi and fat-free hot chocolate.

Eurotrash believes in positive thinking, which for her means constantly harping on about items she has yet to acquire as way of bringing them closer to her grasp. Par exemple, remember how she's been blogging about a pair of roberto cavalli rabbit-fur ear muffs for some time now? Well, low and behold, walking around vieux quebec, she strolled into a recycled fur store having a sale: fur ear muffs, $79.00. This definitely beat the 400 euro price tag and the 4 week shipping wait from Luisa Via Roma for the cavalli's.

And just look at this cute tea section of candy shop, C'est si bon. Here eurotrash found the prettiest coaster with an art-deco print from a travel ad for the cote d'azur on it.

Then there's Bonhomme, the massive snowman mascot of le carnaval. He has eurotrash on her toes. We cannot find him anywhere, although pseudo-bonhommes are everywhere! The entire city has declared a festival around this elusive figure; his face decorates the windows of shops and supermarkets and people walk dans la rue donning his famous knit scarf. Using a big snowman that no one has ever seen as an excuse to party? C'est si eurotrash!

Yes, Your Majesty!

With the excuse of going to buy a pair of waterproof boots for our upcoming trip to Quebec City this weekend my sis and I headed out to Yorkdale Mall yesterday afternoon. The good news is she managed to find a pair of fur-trimmed Sorels. The bad news is, that's not all we managed to find.

We were ostensibly on our way to Starbucks, which you can conveniently only get to by passing H&M, when the $9.95 rack baited us in, which it always does. The great thing about H&M is that it's so super cheap it eliminates all the usual guilt and anxiety that normally ensues after and/or during a shopping spree. Like two kids in a candy store, my sis and I happily danced down the isles, ladening our arms with clothes until the hangers dug deep into our skin! Masochism at its best! Emerging from the change room we both exclaimed in unison: "I'll take everything!" (OK, we didn't really do that, but a little fictive bravado never hurt anybody). Here's what I copped:

Knitted cotton bolero, $34.95

Perfect fit, stretchy cotton tank, $17.95 (a bit steep but worth it)

Everything I've said thus far about H&M is blatantly obvious and probably why its gimmick works so well. There's another quality however that makes H&M indispensable to eurotrash: H&M is the accessory to the accessory. Allow me to explain. Like my girl at Life is Glossy said the other day, The Blonde Salad secret is out! But we can learn a thing or two from our dear Chiara no matter how famous she gets:

super expensive accessories + super cheap clothes = super eurotrash style

It's like dressing in reverse; first you start off by picking your bag and shoes as the main, designer pieces, then you add on a t-shirt or a trendy floral skirt. I remember when I purchased my first Gucci bag, I couldn't wear it with anything because it trumped all my outfits - it was never a finishing touch; it was a bloody coup de grace!

So we learn. The only way to pull off an amazing outfit without looking too designer-designer is to accessorize with brands like H&M, Zara, Topshop, Forever XXI, etc., and build around staple pieces like a Balenciaga bag, YSL shoes and maybe someday soon, a Hermes belt ;)

Mile High Romance

February is the month of... love?

Perhaps for some, but for others February is the month of epicurism, which is love nonetheless! Every year around this time all the MDFs (morte di fame) come out of the woodwork to enjoy reduced, prix fixe meals at some of Toronto's hottest, bank-breaking restaurants. Winterlicious is also the time of year when eurotrash doesn't mind paying for her own meal. I mean, if she's going to have to sit across the table from some Exhibit a, b, or c, listen to his boring stories all night and pretend to laugh innocently at his casual advances, all at regular price, then he best be paying the check! But why waste a winterlicious meal on a boy? After all, it's February, the month of... great friends.

Canoe Restaurant, 66 Wellington St, Toronto

This year the girls, by some miracle of the reso-gods, managed to score an 8:45 reservation saturday night at Canoe. Four unsuccessful parking jobs, two elevator rides and 54 stories later, we arrived atop the TD Bank tower - being the youngest girls there was definitely the MasterCard punchline and after a few martinis our designated driver was working the room like nobody's business. Our table was to die for and the view of the city made me feel like I was definitely in Toronto and definitely not in Toronto at all, which brings me to the point of this morning's post.

Panorama Lounge, 55 Bloor St W, Toronto

Lately, I've been reppin' T.O. like a mascot, and for good reason too; the city is mine! From those strange heights I always find myself falling more in love with my hometown. It's like seeing the city for the first time and already knowing everything about it; its traffic jams and one-way roads, its best ice cream and used bookstores, its last snowfall and the way back home to your house. Saturday night from my window seat at Canoe I thought all those things as I shared a meal with my three best friends. My eurotrash advice is to do everything up high! The city is filled with hotspots in the sky that until now, I've yet to discover. From 40 stories up you'll feel a sweet romance that no rose, chocolate or tiffany heart can inspire. So maybe February is the month of love after all; if it is, I never wanna come down.

The Sandal Boot: A Sho(e)-in.

Me, June 2009, wearing my Aldo sandal-boots for the first time.

Just the other day I was re-organizing my shoes and I found myself thinking, "Gosh, I really need to get this shoe thing right". Admittedly, I usually know what I'm doing when it comes to bags, boots and faceshields, but when it comes to shoes I can't tap my head and rub my belly in tandem for the life of me!

Am i selling out for the sake of this bi-weekly post? Maybe. I mean, for heaven's sake, eurotrash obviously knows what looks good. We ooh and ahh and make googly eyes at some of the world's hottest footwear, effortlessly building up the courage to go into David's or Specchio and cop that!

Then the following series of events occurs:

-You pump that heavy door open and walk in, trying to look all nonchalant meanwhile your heart is racing so fast that your eyes start to water. So as not to blow your cover, you blow your nose and pretend it's allergies.

-You browse around, seeing what's new in store. An insufferable salesclerk approaches, shit, and says the magic words, "Can I help you?". Funny how when you actually need help, the salesclerks vanish into thin air and it almost seems like the store is being run by Decepticons. Funny how at this moment, I don't need help: "No thanks, just looking".

-And now the salesclerk and his buddies are 'just looking' at you, as you just look. Your heart rate miraculously increases and now you begin to get dizzy. So many nice shoes, so many choices, what did I even come in here to get again? Oh yeah, I wanted to check out some Louboutin's, which for some reason, all of a sudden, seems like the hugest feat you've ever attempted.

-You turn some red soles over, and instantly $750.00 reads $7.5 million. They seemed so much more affordable from my computer desk earlier that morning. The shoes all look so beautiful that you forget all the clothes you own, you even forget your name. You concede; you're in no state to make a major purchase today.

-Heading for the 50 tonne door, the salesclerk bids you farewell, as if he's won the "she's not gonna buy anything" bet he had going with his coworkers all along. Horrible.

-You turn left and make a mad dash for Aldo's. You drop $250.00 on two pairs of shoes in under 2 minutes and you feel like a million bucks.

-You wear them two times. Once each pair. Sigh, if only you had dropped the 7.5 million when you had the chance.

Sounds familiar? Well my dear readers, I am here to tell you that this morning my last minute recovery trip to Aldo's has for once, been the right decision. Flipping through Style.com's "What to Buy Now, Spring 2010", I came across the very style of shoe that I have been cursing myself over for having bought last summer at Aldo's. Ladies and Gents, I present to you: the new sandal-boot... and my shoe sense restored.

Giuseppe Zanotti Design sandal, Spring 2010

Balmain sandal, Spring 2010

Down the Rabbit Hole.

Tom Binns Collection

A eurotrash girl is probably the last one to jump on the bandwagon when it comes to popular culture. She's always either too early or too late: she wore massive faceshields when sunglasses were still in their functional Oakley phase; she started reading Twilight the book after having rented Twilight the movie.

So blah blah blah, Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland is right on time even though the entire narrative is propelled by a skittish white rabbit who is perpetually running late for a tea party that is doomed to carry on ad infinitum. If life were like Carroll's wonderland, Alice would be a eurotrash girl. She's curiouser. She constantly stops to have tea with surreal characters and all of a sudden, inexplicably, becomes a VIP who is best friends with the Queen. What else should transpire on a lazy summer afternoon?

"Macche' importa se e` finita, cosa importa se era la mia vita o no. Ciò che conta e` che sia stata una fantastica giornata morbida" - Vasco Rossi, Una splendida giornata: the eurotrash anthem for those Alice in Wonderland days.

But enough with the intellectual reference game. What i really meant to blog about today is my new obsession spawned from this Carroll revival: Alice in Wonderland jewellery pieces. Big name designers like Tom Binns, Stella McCartney and Swarovski have unveiled collections under the auspices of the Cheshire Cat.

Stella McCartney

Swarovski Underworld Collection

These are all OK and will probably be donned by those girls who must have. Instead, what eurotrash is seeking are the one-of-a-kind, handmade pieces she stumbled upon at Etsy.com; a bit more recherche', tres affordable and won't make you look like you belong with the latter half of the tweedle twins. Eurotrash chooses a bright charm bracelet with vintage touches to wear with a simple white t-shirt, a summer tan and lots of pale pink lip gloss.