Candid Eurotrash:

As the new site is under construction and fashion week is fast-approaching, the face of eurotrash is on the cusp of a new moon. Don't panic just yet! The new site will still feature the witty writings of a eurotrash girl and in addition the site will also have a section for real fashion photography (unlike what you usually see here). This way, I won't have to waste quality posts to show you all things that I love and that we should be able to buy in CDN dollars some day like this you-don't-need-a-savings-account Balenciaga leather jacket. Here's an idea for spring: this jacket, a light neon t-shirt, faded jeans and neutral beige or grey sandal boots. The bag of choice... a vintage seafoam first bag from '04.

Balenciaga leather jacket

Balenciaga; vintage 2004 seafoam first bag

forever 21 peep toe workman booties

A Fuschia Deal

Friday night was our annual games night; a night where us girls get together, drink cheap zinfandel and play stellar games such as Headbandz Jr. and Marry, Date or Dump. This year we had the zin, we had all girls in attendance, we even had the board games, but all we did was gossip! Typical, right? Well, once we got over who's been dumped, who's been to paris, who back-stabbed who, etc., we moved on, thankfully, to fashion... then the real games began.

First, I need to preface this with a brief description of what class of girls I was with. If you're picturing 5 girls dressed to the nines, hair done, lipstick pretty, trying to out-do each other by wearing all their designer pieces at once and bragging about the new tiffany bracelet their boyfriend just bought them for their yet-another-week-together anniversary - scratch that nauseating vision out of your minds, immediately. In fact, we were mostly in tights and sweats, barely wearing that morning's make-up, jewellery consisted of a beaded bracelet given to one of us girls by her student earlier that day, and we were all sitting around an ashtray inside my friend's garage on a wooden staircase when this particular topic came up.

We began to exchange stories and details about our latest finds and how little we paid for them. Eurotrash came quite close with her Jackie bag story and how she managed to cop it for $1000 less in Italy, even after converting back to CDN dollars, than what it's listed for on Gucci's site (albeit, smuggling was involved). But the girl who took the cake, a big fuschia cake, was my girl, Jor. She found a 2008 Valentino cocktail dress in her size at Holt's Last Call just a few weeks earlier. It wasn't just that the dress was drop dead gorgeous, because it is, or that it fit her like a glove, because it does, or even that its cut is so classic that I could have easily convinced all of you it was a vintage find; the dress was on sale. Big time.

Jordana's Valentino dress

So now for a eurotrash math lesson: the original price tag read $4,500, reduced to outlet price tag read $1,900, reduced to the 90% off outlet price tag read $190.00. You can't even buy two pairs of TNA pants for that price. Jor, I don't know what gods were shinning on you that day, girl, but next time I go shopping I'm taking you with me.

Dial E for Eurotrash.

Grace Kelly in To Catch a Thief

Badgley Mischka, fall 2010

I remember sitting on the terrace of our student residence in Florence that muggy pomeriggio in July, chain-smoking and passionately discussing our latest creation: eurotrash. OK, we obviously didn't invent the word, but we slaved night and day on that terrace to wrest it from the derogatory connotations of kitschy Brünos who listen to euro beats and whatever comes up when you enter the search term "eurotrash" on Google Images. Yeehaw!

Although the prospect of ever fully disclosing the secret to being OUR definition of eurotrash is an unlikely one, considering it's taken us over six years to hone, once in a while we like to let our readers in on some of the things that were said on that terrace.

For this eurotrash girl, being eurotrash meant envisioning her life like a huge book of pictures in which various scenarios called for a certain type of sunlight, a certain street, and a certain outfit. It didn't matter what was happening in the pictures; what mattered was how it looked when it happened. How her black scarf contrasted the hints of blonde in her hair picked up by the sun reflecting off the shop windows along Bloor St or how at 6pm her crisp white juicy hoodie transformed a long day out at sea into a tan as she stepped onto the dock.

Tippi Hedren in The Birds

This fall, it seems that some designers have taken their inspiration from the 'how it looked when it happened' handbook: Alfred Hitchcock movies. Sure, it definitely mattered what happened in these famous murder mysteries, but every time I try to remember the plot of The Birds I first picture Tippi Hedren's pea green suit and bleach blonde hair, and only then does it all come back to me. Here are some Hitchcockian leading ladies and the fall ready-to-wear designers who know a thing or two about the eurotrash subconscious:

Eva Marie Saint in NXNW

Grace Kelly in To Catch a Thief

ibid

Grace Kelly in Rear Window

Tippi Hedren in Marnie

Zac Posen, fall 2010

Chris Benz, Fall 2010

Zac Posen, fall 2010

Carolina Herrera, fall 2010

ibid.

ibid.

Dennis Basso, fall 2010.

Short and Sweet from Quebec.

Stealing internet from the French Canadians turned out to be harder than I thought. I have no doubt that the ever-elusive Bonhomme had something to do with it. And so, I live for the few moments when the WiFi happens to be working at our B&B, which only happens when I sit in a certain chair on the 2nd floor and only when the sun is at its brightest and I'm wearing my pink leg warmers (at least, those were the conditions the one and only time I got internet).

So whatever, I'm not letting another Guglielmo situation creep up on me like this summer in Maiori where for 7 weeks straight the entire town's supposed wireless internet (named Guglielmo for reasons we still don't know) was down because the marina was under construction; the correlation continues to mystify us. Hence, I'm across the street at Second Cup; free WiFi and fat-free hot chocolate.

Eurotrash believes in positive thinking, which for her means constantly harping on about items she has yet to acquire as way of bringing them closer to her grasp. Par exemple, remember how she's been blogging about a pair of roberto cavalli rabbit-fur ear muffs for some time now? Well, low and behold, walking around vieux quebec, she strolled into a recycled fur store having a sale: fur ear muffs, $79.00. This definitely beat the 400 euro price tag and the 4 week shipping wait from Luisa Via Roma for the cavalli's.

And just look at this cute tea section of candy shop, C'est si bon. Here eurotrash found the prettiest coaster with an art-deco print from a travel ad for the cote d'azur on it.

Then there's Bonhomme, the massive snowman mascot of le carnaval. He has eurotrash on her toes. We cannot find him anywhere, although pseudo-bonhommes are everywhere! The entire city has declared a festival around this elusive figure; his face decorates the windows of shops and supermarkets and people walk dans la rue donning his famous knit scarf. Using a big snowman that no one has ever seen as an excuse to party? C'est si eurotrash!

Mile High Romance

February is the month of... love?

Perhaps for some, but for others February is the month of epicurism, which is love nonetheless! Every year around this time all the MDFs (morte di fame) come out of the woodwork to enjoy reduced, prix fixe meals at some of Toronto's hottest, bank-breaking restaurants. Winterlicious is also the time of year when eurotrash doesn't mind paying for her own meal. I mean, if she's going to have to sit across the table from some Exhibit a, b, or c, listen to his boring stories all night and pretend to laugh innocently at his casual advances, all at regular price, then he best be paying the check! But why waste a winterlicious meal on a boy? After all, it's February, the month of... great friends.

Canoe Restaurant, 66 Wellington St, Toronto

This year the girls, by some miracle of the reso-gods, managed to score an 8:45 reservation saturday night at Canoe. Four unsuccessful parking jobs, two elevator rides and 54 stories later, we arrived atop the TD Bank tower - being the youngest girls there was definitely the MasterCard punchline and after a few martinis our designated driver was working the room like nobody's business. Our table was to die for and the view of the city made me feel like I was definitely in Toronto and definitely not in Toronto at all, which brings me to the point of this morning's post.

Panorama Lounge, 55 Bloor St W, Toronto

Lately, I've been reppin' T.O. like a mascot, and for good reason too; the city is mine! From those strange heights I always find myself falling more in love with my hometown. It's like seeing the city for the first time and already knowing everything about it; its traffic jams and one-way roads, its best ice cream and used bookstores, its last snowfall and the way back home to your house. Saturday night from my window seat at Canoe I thought all those things as I shared a meal with my three best friends. My eurotrash advice is to do everything up high! The city is filled with hotspots in the sky that until now, I've yet to discover. From 40 stories up you'll feel a sweet romance that no rose, chocolate or tiffany heart can inspire. So maybe February is the month of love after all; if it is, I never wanna come down.

What Would Woody Do?

One of my favourite parts from one of my favourite movies, Everyone Says I Love You, is when narrator, DJ, announces the coming of winter and the Dandridge family's holiday plans:

"But when Christmas comes... We're not the kind of family that sings carols... and we don't have a goose or anything. What we do is head for Paris, to spend Christmas at the Ritz".

As if having Woody Allen for a father isn't eurotrash enough, DJ and her entire band of misfit toys do what eurotrash always does this time of year: FLY OUT! Now, a eurotrash girl must confess that the inspiration for this post had something to do with a last-minute booking and everything to do with the fulfillment of a sound prophecy. You see, for some people 'tis the season for stuffing stockings... for others, 'tis the season for stuffing suitcases. My better half has her suitcase already stuffed; prophecy fulfilled. However, up until yesterday I really thought that the prophecy was being cruelly selective; I was a eurotrash pariah desperately shaking all the gifts under the tree in hopes of finding Pearson airport. Silly me, I should've just checked my Inbox where the e-ticket lay awaiting.

Alas, with full authority, I take charge of this post to preach the truths of the eurotrash holiday prophecy. Someway, somehow, a flight will find her. That's why when asked what she's doing for New Year's Eve, a eurotrash girl doesn't commit to any definitive plans beyond champagne. Albeit, some years the prophecy thwarts our lifestyle (or our lifestyle thwarts the prophecy?) and we get stuck on the couch, toasting to Dick Clark in HD, but we truly hope that was a one time deal. Besides, we hadn't even started the blog yet. Humble beginnings.

And not so humble ends. Whatever.

Happy Holidays and Bon Voyage!

The Eurotrash Stocking Stuffed

Flying home on a red-eye from San Francisco a few nights ago, while the other passengers slept soundly, I decided to catch up on my reading. Besides I didn't want to go to bed without having done at least one "flip through" the spanking glossy December issue of Vogue that awaited me in the Hudson News bag I had been clenching since I passed the gate. Two things happened during the flip through: I read a brilliant article and I wrote a brilliant article. (Well, the former directly inspired the latter which, when I say 'wrote' I really mean that I was waiting until THIS moment to actually write... But, since when does a eurotrash girl need to justify logistics?).

Susie Boyt's "The Good Stuff" is for anyone who loves hearing about other people in the world who are just as ferociously obsessed with goodies as they are and THIS eurotrash girl is a certified, goodies fiend. My dearest Susie just made the Christmas stocking the next best thing. She ONLY gives out stockings and fills them with personalized fare, from London Sole red ballet slippers for the dancer to Monopoly Deal cards for the constant traveller; if you're lucky, she might even include pink pencils stamped with your name in gold and the lyrics to your favourite song penned on stiff correspondence cards. A few jars of Tiptree Orange marmalade paired with Keats' Selected Letters and Susie just decked your halls! But enough about her. Naturally, I started to think about what a eurotrash stocking would be stuffed with and came up with a list of my own. Susie, this one's for you.

The Eurotrash Stocking Stuffed:

The receptacle:

One gold deluxe Moon Boot from the Winter Monarchy collection.

The stuffing:

Twelve OPI Holiday Wishes collection nail polishes, from 'Smitten with Mittens' to 'All A-Bordeaux the Sled', complete with twelve separate polish changes. Eurotrash paint her own nails? Not even if she had two right hands!

Eleven + nine tracks of sweet parisian nouveau-jazz: Pompugnac's Hotel Costes a Decade 1999-2009 compilation. The actual cd. iTunes is great and all when one is feeling paresseuse but nothing is more eurotrash than collecting rare compact discs in artsy cases, no plastic please.

Ten glistening Neapolitan cards of the winning suit in a just-started, favourable game of brisk - the ultimate eurotrash pastime, around 4pm.

Nine cypraeovula volvens south african seashells. Just as good as tissue paper.

Eight x 10,000 aeroplan miles. Because that next flight is always around the corner and never worth a dime over the airport taxes!

Seven previously owned Agatha Christie gialli. (The preferred edition should be published by Pocket Books New York during the 80s). Read one every day between Christmas and New Years Eve to ward off cabin fever with Poirot's franco-wit.

Six luxury candles. I suggest Tocca's Florence candle six times or for the rich, Luxury Soy Candles' Champagne Noir Soy with a 2.3carat, G colour and VS clarity, diamond embellishment in 14k white gold, setting you back a breezy $5,000. Don't worry, most luxury candles come with their own matches, which is perhaps the eurotrashiest part. I mean, I would be happy receiving just the matches...

All Five seasons of Absolutely Fabulous - Eddy and Patsy, the reigning queens of eurotrash before we became the reigning queens of eurotrash.

Four Links of London sterling silver holiday charms: the jumping reindeer, the stocking, the mitten and the gingerbread man. NB: you need to already own the charm bracelet upon which to solder these silver friends for this to mean anything. Sorry, thread just won't do.

Three glasses of Krug Clos Ambonnay champagne, to be drank while opening the stocking.

Two Converse Rockability sneakers - the reinterpreted studded version, of course - made exclusively for eurotrash's fav boutique in Florence, Luisa Via Roma. I know it sounds like a dream, but the store really does get famous designers to do special things for them and in turn, for us.

And last but not least, the other Moon Boot, obviously.

"... it was all started by a mouse" - Walt Disney

Some people don't remember their first mickey mouse fashion sighting and then there are others who do. Eurotrash remembers. It was summer and it was florence; eurotrash was sitting on the curb across from palazzo pitti probably eating gelato (also known as dinner, ex post facto) admiring her new white ballet slippers, which she defiantly wore as shoes. Then it happened. Eurotrash spied with her little eye a little black mouse ear and nose poking out from behind a navy blue blazer, set on a white, cotton tee. Completing the look - an irretrievable pair of designer jeans and of course, white ballet slippers. Come to think of it, could this vision have just been a figment of eurotrash's imagination? Another fantastic muse to strut down the runways of her mind? 

Well whatever it was, eurotrash has never forgotten that vision. In fact, mickey mouse and co.  have become perennial icons in the eurotrash wardrobe. She's not gaga though, nor alone. The

mouse has found its way onto an entire Liu Jo collection, D&G tees and jeans, the chests of Louis Park's models, MAC lip glosses, Iceberg tunics and Carrie Bradshaw. This summer she will not have to look far for her new disney acquisition. PINKO has got her covered. Their s/s 09 collection features solid colour tees and hobo bags with polychromatic disney friends, Maga Mago` and Amelia, just hanging out on them. Looking over at her white ballet slippers, now soiled past the point of even cinderella-chic, eurotrash opts for a cute pair of mid-thigh high, black, biker shorts  and fringed poccahonis-meets-helen of troy flats..... A dream come true.