Here Comes the Dress!

Vera Wang

I always think I'm way too young to be talking about weddings but with the sound of new engagements buzzing every few weeks and an unhealthy daily dose of TLC's Say Yes to the Dress, age is obviously no longer an issue. Just the other day one of eurotrash's #1 fans said yes to the man who asked for her hand and eurotrash said yes to dedicating this post to her.

Amasale

Ever watch one of those episodes of Rich Bride, Poor Bride where the bride-to-be throws a temper tantrum and takes a sledge hammer to her bathroom vanity because her fiance' refuses to put up 30Gs for the centrepieces? Well, when it comes to weddings, eurotrash has one piece of advice: spend on the dress, and cheap out on the rest! Flowers will wilt, guests will be too drunk by the first course to notice the difference between sea bass and salmon, and let's face it, the more people at the reception, the bigger the chances of someone looking better than the bride! (For those who don't know, that is the cardinal sin of all weddings).

Vera Wang

Whenever talk of tying the knot comes up, eurotrash can be heard saying: "a limo? Screw that! Listen, I'd drive my mother's car to the church just to have a drop dead gown". Unless you're some duchess or Lady Gaga, chances are, a ball gown is not one of the items you keep neatly tucked away in your closet. However, no matter how ordinary your life may be the day after, on your wedding day nobody is going to take away your divine right to wear couture. The eurotrash wedding is void of helicopters, a busting guest list, and bridal party. Instead, the maximum capacity is set to 50, food will be quality not quantity, decor will be simple - candles and a flower or two, the bride will arrive in her mother's car as planned and there will be no porchetta table at midnight. There will be a dress however; the most beautifully lavish assemblage of fabric with all the niceties of a runway piece and all the glory of a first kiss.

Christian Dior

So say yes to the dress because another even bigger and better wedding reception will just replace yours the next year and sometimes, sadly, even love fades. But your wedding dress, that will always be yours; to have and to hold, til debt do you part.

Congrats, Alexis!

Waste Not, Want Not!

ICEBERG S/S 2010; courtesy of style.com

Everyone knows that eurotrash is obsessed with Mickey Mouse and as one of the original muses for the eurotrash look she really can say: it was all started by a mouse. So amidst all the fall fashion hullabaloo, eurotrash wants to pull in the reins just a bit and talk about the fast approaching SPRING! This is the time when stores flaunt all their pretty spring collections as soon as you walk in and the thought of trying on a frilly pink dress over pale skin and unshaven legs always deters any happiness this marketing move could bring us. Not to mention the inevitable waste factor that no matter how seasoned a shopper you are, always manages to rear its ugly head. The waste factor is the group of clothing purchased, precariously, from the section at the front of the store in between february and april, in anticipation of spring, and which you never end up wearing when the weather is spring, your skin is brighter and your gillette venus has revealed the goddess in you.

It happens to eurotrash too, but this year she has sworn to have patience and if that fails, she'll wear blinders when entering all clothing stores. In the meantime, the editing begins. She's making a list, checking it twice, and in a few months she'll know exactly what she needs in order to have a fabulous wardrobe this summer and finally, dodge the waste factor. Back to Mickey, she knows he's always on her side and he has never even set a yellow foot in that pile of waste (green h&m shorts, rainbow french connection skirt, flavio castellani navy shirt dress...) left over from previous february shopping sprees. This year, the most astute eurotrash girl turns to the leaders in Mickey Mouse fashion, ICEBERG. Those black mouse ears always seem to pop up in their collection, time and time again, and this year is no exception. The black, mouse-studded duffle bag is on eurotrash's spring list, in permanent ink. Yes, she's that sure.

Dial E for Eurotrash.

Grace Kelly in To Catch a Thief

Badgley Mischka, fall 2010

I remember sitting on the terrace of our student residence in Florence that muggy pomeriggio in July, chain-smoking and passionately discussing our latest creation: eurotrash. OK, we obviously didn't invent the word, but we slaved night and day on that terrace to wrest it from the derogatory connotations of kitschy Brünos who listen to euro beats and whatever comes up when you enter the search term "eurotrash" on Google Images. Yeehaw!

Although the prospect of ever fully disclosing the secret to being OUR definition of eurotrash is an unlikely one, considering it's taken us over six years to hone, once in a while we like to let our readers in on some of the things that were said on that terrace.

For this eurotrash girl, being eurotrash meant envisioning her life like a huge book of pictures in which various scenarios called for a certain type of sunlight, a certain street, and a certain outfit. It didn't matter what was happening in the pictures; what mattered was how it looked when it happened. How her black scarf contrasted the hints of blonde in her hair picked up by the sun reflecting off the shop windows along Bloor St or how at 6pm her crisp white juicy hoodie transformed a long day out at sea into a tan as she stepped onto the dock.

Tippi Hedren in The Birds

This fall, it seems that some designers have taken their inspiration from the 'how it looked when it happened' handbook: Alfred Hitchcock movies. Sure, it definitely mattered what happened in these famous murder mysteries, but every time I try to remember the plot of The Birds I first picture Tippi Hedren's pea green suit and bleach blonde hair, and only then does it all come back to me. Here are some Hitchcockian leading ladies and the fall ready-to-wear designers who know a thing or two about the eurotrash subconscious:

Eva Marie Saint in NXNW

Grace Kelly in To Catch a Thief

ibid

Grace Kelly in Rear Window

Tippi Hedren in Marnie

Zac Posen, fall 2010

Chris Benz, Fall 2010

Zac Posen, fall 2010

Carolina Herrera, fall 2010

ibid.

ibid.

Dennis Basso, fall 2010.

"... it was all started by a mouse" - Walt Disney

Some people don't remember their first mickey mouse fashion sighting and then there are others who do. Eurotrash remembers. It was summer and it was florence; eurotrash was sitting on the curb across from palazzo pitti probably eating gelato (also known as dinner, ex post facto) admiring her new white ballet slippers, which she defiantly wore as shoes. Then it happened. Eurotrash spied with her little eye a little black mouse ear and nose poking out from behind a navy blue blazer, set on a white, cotton tee. Completing the look - an irretrievable pair of designer jeans and of course, white ballet slippers. Come to think of it, could this vision have just been a figment of eurotrash's imagination? Another fantastic muse to strut down the runways of her mind? 

Well whatever it was, eurotrash has never forgotten that vision. In fact, mickey mouse and co.  have become perennial icons in the eurotrash wardrobe. She's not gaga though, nor alone. The

mouse has found its way onto an entire Liu Jo collection, D&G tees and jeans, the chests of Louis Park's models, MAC lip glosses, Iceberg tunics and Carrie Bradshaw. This summer she will not have to look far for her new disney acquisition. PINKO has got her covered. Their s/s 09 collection features solid colour tees and hobo bags with polychromatic disney friends, Maga Mago` and Amelia, just hanging out on them. Looking over at her white ballet slippers, now soiled past the point of even cinderella-chic, eurotrash opts for a cute pair of mid-thigh high, black, biker shorts  and fringed poccahonis-meets-helen of troy flats..... A dream come true.