Kandi Sounds and Killer Shoes

A Eurotrash girl's PB and J? Answer: Hed Kandi Beach House and Gucci fall shoes. Don't ask how they could possibly go together, they just do. Buying summer shoes is such a waste of (someone else's) hard earned money and as much as you think you see forever in their eyes, (the shoes), those babies have an expiry date - october 1st. No no, instead, a eurotrash girl will wear 20 dollar sandals all summer long until they fall apart on the dance floor and get tossed into the medi. And no, she will not mourn for them because she has another 19 pairs to annihilate before summer's end. Polygamy is the way to go when it comes to summer sandals. 

So, she doesn't spend her money on sandals, instead she spends her money on THE summer soundtrack: Hed Kandi's Annual Beach House Compilation. Ranging from 30-50 dollars, depending on how generous the folks at HMV are feeling each year, this soundtrack justifies indulgence and indulging. Case in point, the description for this summer's volume:

We’ve taken inspiration from our many outings in the south of France – Toulouse, Nice, Marseilles, Montpelier and most notably St Tropez. This is music to lounge to from sunset to sundown, best played at a comfortable volume from the pool area of a Hed Kandi beach house and of course complimented with the gentle sound of warm waves kissing a nearby crescent shore. Bliss! 

http://www.hedkandi.com/product/na/albums/cd/beach_house_2009/

Once she gets her hands on it, the next step is to get her feet into real shoes. And when i say real, i mean Gucci. Screw Louboutins. Eurotrash doesn't need a red sole to match her swagger (unless of course, a moment of MDF kicks in and principles instantly become a question of convenience i.e., out the window). But if she's buying, which she does every august, she's going GG. Watching her tattered sandals as they get carried out to sea means she is one death closer to Division, the must-have shoe for october 1st. Nothing, NOTHING, cures the end of summer blues quite like them. And she (almost) cannot wait to get her dose of this fall's panacea. 

Two Weeks Notice

I haven't updated the blog in over two weeks. I haven't gone blonde yet, actually my hairdresser tried to convince me that it was a faux-pas for me this year. I only agreed because he coerced me with a glass of valpolicella as we discussed my locks. Where do I find these places in Toronto? Ah... I truly believe they find me. 

So, what else have the eurotrash duo been up to when not updating their beloved site? Trying to cram a 50 pg thesis in 2 weeks (another faux-pas), playing virgil to my better half's better half aka big poppa, and his travel companion who kindly put his AMEX down at harbour sixty. I can say these sorts of things as a proud bearer of the MDF title; surrounding oneself in opulence sometimes rubs off a bit, or a lot - it really all depends on how many glasses of veuve you can drink in one sitting. 

However, the most heart-wrenching event that has come to pass during this mini-hiatus is the anticipated departure of my better half. She has left for the motherland and I have 2 more weeks to go in this eurotrashless city before I meet her in Rome and check into our swank hotel. http://www.fortysevenhotel.com/

NB: We drew lots before booking. Obviously, dropping 300 euros on our first night's stay in Rome won over saving enough money to cover our dreaded train ride from Salerno to Fiumicino on sept 5 to catch our flight home. (wishful thinking?)

Here's something to look forward to - one of my favorite eurotrash boys just sent me a picture of a Disney Witches bag from PINKO's 2009 summer collection while he was "shopping" in Italy yesterday. The Look: this bag*, a bright-coloured juicy couture tracksuit, massive faceshields and bibelots hanging from one ankle - what else are you going to wear when stepping off a boat in the amalfi coast without looking like you actually noticed? 

Photo credit: Dan Alexander Ifrim, July 2, 2009. 

*NB: this bag can easily (as in: "I can easily imagine...") be substituted with the LV never full, Prada denim tote or Gucci tattoo heart shopper.

Do Blondes Really Have More Fun?

There are a few things in life that weigh over eurotrash's conscience as she goes about her quotidian minutia; one of these things is the age-old, mid-spring question that eurotrash annually asks herself: "should i go blonde again this summer?". 

Memory role call ensues. Is it really the case that mojitos with a hint of mint made her shine a bit brighter because her hair was lighter that night in atrani? Was falling in love that summer so much easier because her sunkissed glow was matched with the starlight in her hair and not in her heart? Does the Gucci green and red stripe demand platinum locks? Suddenly her summer memories become nothing more than the sound of "ue, bionda" rolling off the tongue of an oh-so-charming neapolitan boy as she crosses the piazza, donning faceshields and of course, blonde hair. I mean, don't get me wrong, gorgeous dark-haired eurotrash girls exist, but when so many of her summer dreams are accompanied by visions of blonde, it truly becomes hard to refuse this light temptation.  

So, eurotrash does what she does every mid-spring: makes a hair appointment and never EVER looks back. 

the following thought struck me as i lay in bed last night after having tried on some of my new clothes (this is something eurotrash loves to do: model her new clothes in her room): the one problem with a fabulous, unforgettable outfit is just that - it is unforgettable. how horrible it is to be noticed wearing the same great outfit twice (heaven forbid one is photographed) precisely because that outfit is so memorable? what an unescapable irony that almost makes one want to dress in the solid category of mediocrity so as not to be noticed. almost. actually, not even close.

here i am: 22.44 (24-hour clock is the only way to go for eurotrash), marking essays. as if my and stina's words about the boundless stupidity of feminist discourse had gone from my lips to athena's ears, about an hour ago i found a ferocious essay in my lap which argued for the complete male dominance and female submission in ancient greek myth. far be it from eurotrash to turn a blog about the ultimate summer (indulgence09) into a political diatribe against the feminists of the world. but ya know what??? eurotrash wants to be girly, she wants to be ordered for at dinner, she wants to be toted around the medi in a bmw and a yacht. what's so bad about that? submission to good treatment and fancy digs is in no way analogous to submission to abuse, oppression or silence (just ask giulio) NDR: Giulio is the better half of one-half of the eurotrash duo. He is coming to Toronto in t-minus 15 days and eurotrash can't.even.wait. it is because of giulio that eurotrash doesn't have to dirty her pedicured feet on the beaches of the amalfi coast but walks straight from her afternoon breakfast onto Big Poppa NDR: Big Poppa is Giulio's boat and yes biggie is always on the stereo.

"... it was all started by a mouse" - Walt Disney

Some people don't remember their first mickey mouse fashion sighting and then there are others who do. Eurotrash remembers. It was summer and it was florence; eurotrash was sitting on the curb across from palazzo pitti probably eating gelato (also known as dinner, ex post facto) admiring her new white ballet slippers, which she defiantly wore as shoes. Then it happened. Eurotrash spied with her little eye a little black mouse ear and nose poking out from behind a navy blue blazer, set on a white, cotton tee. Completing the look - an irretrievable pair of designer jeans and of course, white ballet slippers. Come to think of it, could this vision have just been a figment of eurotrash's imagination? Another fantastic muse to strut down the runways of her mind? 

Well whatever it was, eurotrash has never forgotten that vision. In fact, mickey mouse and co.  have become perennial icons in the eurotrash wardrobe. She's not gaga though, nor alone. The

mouse has found its way onto an entire Liu Jo collection, D&G tees and jeans, the chests of Louis Park's models, MAC lip glosses, Iceberg tunics and Carrie Bradshaw. This summer she will not have to look far for her new disney acquisition. PINKO has got her covered. Their s/s 09 collection features solid colour tees and hobo bags with polychromatic disney friends, Maga Mago` and Amelia, just hanging out on them. Looking over at her white ballet slippers, now soiled past the point of even cinderella-chic, eurotrash opts for a cute pair of mid-thigh high, black, biker shorts  and fringed poccahonis-meets-helen of troy flats..... A dream come true. 

What is it about a chanel icon bag? When LC flounced down the steps of the prebyterian church where heidi and spencer got married (i hate the conglomerate epithet "spedi"), she was carrying a leather shopper part of chanel's icon collection (that is, bags that have enraptured women despite a $3000+ price tag for generations and continue to haunt their visa bills for months after their purchase) and i stopped breathing for a moment. Perhaps it was the way the shopper fit so perfectly with LC's 50s -inspired outfit (blue off the shoulder a-line cotton frock cinced just-so by a black skinny croc-leather belt) or how she strutted in her louboutins with THE BAG hanging on her arm so casually, as if she were too immersed in her thoughts too even notice the icon on her elbow. But ironically, this is why the set of 10 chanel bags or so have earned the name icon: their presence transcends the wearer, whether she be "reality" tv show star, american first lady, socialite or MDF eurotrash (NDR: MDF = morte di fame, italian tag which aptly describes the girl who has $4.00 in her chequing account and a pink balenciaga in her closet, the undersigned). LC is perhaps too busy debating what colour she'll paint her nails next or what room she'll occupy in her parent's laguna beach villa when she moves back next season to contemplate the status of her quilted leather shopper such as I've done here. Nevertheless as she cooly stepped into her waiting car after Heidi and Spencer's ceremony (why she skipped the reception I'll never know), LC joined a league of women who will be long outlived by the icon they carried their keys and lipgloss in. oh chanel! this is why you never have a sale.