The Timi's Run: Always Fresh.

Often people ask me what the eurotrash lifestyle is; too often people think it's about living a baller life, throwing 100 dollar bills at homeless people and wearing gucci in the shower; even more often, people think it's about gold digging on a guy to fly you to some jet-set getaway, handing you a diamond ring and black AMEX with your boarding pass.

That's why today's post might surprise some of you. Sure, last week eurotrash was prancing around town with fashion designer, Salem Moussallam, in fur and her jackie bag, stopping afterwards to have a coffee at Bar Mercurio with the owner and long-time friend, Albino. Yet, those glamourous, this-is-not-MY-life? days where you feel like a total fraud have slowly become just as normal as timi's run days - and the timi's run days have become just as glamourous!

The timi's run has become an institutionalized eurotrash activity and can take place up to four or five times a week! It all started with the grand opening of Home Depot on caledonia with a tim horton's on the side and a supersized parking lot. No one could have really predicted what occurred afterwards; the closest I can come to conveying the general atmosphere that strikes you when pulling up to the complex is a cross between Gone in 60 seconds and the Fast & the Furious, mixed with a little Jersey Shore and a touch of Quentin Tarantino kitsch. Hanging in the air sometimes is the distant smell of gang violence; hanging on the light posts sometimes are a dead man's shoes. In the summertime our timi's turns into a tailgate and people bring out their illegal cars and fold-up lawn chairs to sit on; the drive-thru becomes an amusement park ride that you line up to go on again when it comes to an end.

Last night we did the timi's run and it was especially reminiscent of summer days because the 15 degree weather brought everyone out to play (not that a snow storm has ever curbed our willingness to leave the house for double-doubles and french crullers). And now with the famed ROLL UP THE RIM TO WIN contest on, the faint prospect of a free donut has become a commonplace reality.

The authorities have tried to crack down on timi's runs (I truly believe it's because they're just angry that civilians have successfully usurped this long-standing police tradition) and many a times a cruiser or a cop-on-a-bike has jack-in-the-boxed eurotrash with a surprise attack, pulling up to her window to ask if her or her friends had any illegal substances on them or sometimes ordering them to leave as they blitz the parking lot.

Last night was especially fun; eurotrash was just sitting on a curb towards the back of the lot chatting away when another car drives by her group, rolls down the window and a girl cries out: "THEY'RE CLOSING THE GATES!!!". Before eurotrash was able to decipher the cryptic, quasi-biblical beckoning, her close friend and timi's run veteran, Elisa, went into action mode, turned to her and said: "JUST GET IN YOUR CAR AND FOLLOW ME, FAST".

Our convoy ripped down the parking lot, adrenaline pumping through my veins, I kept thinking about these gates and the new measures being taken to smoke us out. Suddenly, a slew of cars were lined up all trying to make it out of the parking lot gates lest they be locked inside forever; it was like an evacuation for the apocalypse. I lost track of my friends car; all I thought about was survival.

A few minutes later I received a bbm letting me know the new location everyone had reconvened at. I joined my friends again and we were spared a good half hour before the cops came to run all our plates, but hey, at least they didn't ask us to leave. Sigh, maybe I need to stop reading about Alexander Roy Gumballing across continents in The Driver, or maybe all of you should read it and then come to timi's to discuss and if you're lucky, get to reenact.